Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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