I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
