the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize