You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
