there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize