When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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