Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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