Me too!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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