GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
