I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
