i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
