I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
