I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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