I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This baby is an asshole
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
