i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize