Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
