This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
NoShamevember. You game?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
