not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
