I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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