Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
