i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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