yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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