It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
