I hate your face
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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