Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
