My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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