I should be sponsored by Trojan
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
