it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
