Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
