Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You need a sexual gate keeper
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
