he puts the penis in happiness.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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