Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
