in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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