he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize