Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
