Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
