I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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