i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm bleeding and have questions
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
