Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
