Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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