Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
