I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
