i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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