Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
