There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
