I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
