I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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