and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
