i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize