I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
birth control should be required to get into college
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize