I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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