The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
