New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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