All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize