i just sent this text using only my big toe
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
