No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
