I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
