no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
