thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
