I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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