We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
