We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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