There was a lot of him and a little penis
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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