i love accidental penises.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
