these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
