I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
