I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize