thus making me awesome and them whores
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There are leaves in my underwear?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
