Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
