I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize