I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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