You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
