So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
